With our impending trip only a few weeks away, it has been brought to my attention that we were all seriously lacking in acceptable underwear. Except Sarah, and that’s just because she doesn’t wear any. As a mom, don’t you think that I would be aware of any serious issues with the condition of our underwear? Why is anyone other than me even aware of these things? Why does anyone even care? And, just what constitutes an acceptable condition? If it stays up and on then I say it’s acceptable. A few holes never hurt anyone. Personally, I prefer old underwear. They’re comfortable and they’re proven. However, even Bill has commented on the sad state of our undergarments, so off we went on an underwear buying mission.
First, I had to inventory all the existing items. Then I had to determine what was missing, what needed to be replaced, and what was still acceptable. Then there was a list to make. Gag. Then we had to go to Walmart.
After buying underwear for Jack (who’s drawer contained 3 pairs of unworn boxer brief underwear that were deemed weird–he prefers tighty whiteys), a tank top for Jon (don’t ask, but he likes to be called “Tanktop Tony” and he’s been running laps around the house in the tank top), underwear, socks, and t-shirts for Bill, underwear for me (why are there so many choices? low-cut, hi-cut, bikini, briefs, cotton, microfiber, nylon…the list is endless), and t-shirts for Madeline, I spent over $50. What?! From now on, I’m going to insist that everyone in this family take an underwear sabbatical at least 2 times per week, thus extending the life of our undergarments by at least a little bit. We will be the commando family.